mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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