Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize