I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
