So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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