if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
