I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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