the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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