I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
