and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize