what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
