dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
