That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
