If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize
