take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
