Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
