We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You are the jesus of drinking
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
