we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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