I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
