I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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