I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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