I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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