she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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