I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
