How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
