I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
