You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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