dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
