And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
