when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
