help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
