What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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