i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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