drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
