happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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