got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We have so much sex to catch up on
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
