I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
