Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
