New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
