You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
