If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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