we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
false alarm, still single
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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