I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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