hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm having to shit out rocks
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