Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
