im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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