no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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