Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
