And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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