I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
