did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
