I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
only if we run a train.
done.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
