Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
