i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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