Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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