I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
