Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
